Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The state of garbage

The city of Toronto today is swarming with a specially trained elite government force officially known as the Tactical Trash Team.

To terrified city residents they are simply known as the dreaded“Triple T’s”

Fanatically loyal to their master, Commissar David Miller, the Triple Ts ruthlessly enforce Toronto’s Garbage Edict – which states “during the city worker strike, citizens shall dispose of garbage only in legal drop off zones, except in those cases where legal drop off zones are blocked by placard-wielding and nasty union types, in which case citizens are expected to keep all garbage in their living rooms.”

To prevent misguided citizens from breaking this edict the Triple T’s use their finely honed “rummaging” skills to root through contraband garbage, seeking clues which will lead them to the perpetrators.

A discarded banana peel, a used up toothpaste tube, an old David Miller for Mayor button – all these can be used to track down anti-social elements.

So beware Torontonians – anything you throw away can and will be used against you in a court of law.


Anonymous said...

Rather than dumping garbage in public parks which will eventually cost tax dollars to pick-up, thoughtful, non-left-wing extremists should dump their garbage in CUPE's parking lot.


Anonymous said...

Good one Mach but I would hire a private company to collect my trash.

NorthWestTory said...

I'll agree with that statement.

Dan said...

The newspaper says that David Miller lives close to and passes High Park subway station every day on his way into work.

I would suggest leaving your garbage there at High Park subway station but at the Quebec Avenue entrance just north of Bloor Street West so you don't block the buses leaving from the High Park Avenue exit.

NorthWestTory said...

You mean King David commutes to work?