These are troubling times for the Liberal Party of Canada.
I mean, here's a party that once ruled the Canadian roost, winning federal election after federal election without even raising a sweat.
They were to Canadian politics what the New York Yankees are to baseball; what Lady Ga Ga is to pop music and what Betty White is to 90 year olds.
How good were the Liberals?
Well they were so good they could win elections even when they hired advisors like Warren Kinsella.
But those halcyon days are over. Today the once mighty Liberal Party is a 98 pound weakling, who keeps getting tar sands kicked in its face.
What's the problem?
Well in my opinion, it's leadership.
Simply put, the Liberals haven't had a decent leader since Jean Chretien retired from the sponsorship advertising business.
The Liberals, of course, understand this too. They realize that Paul Martin was an over-hyped, indecisive, chicken-heart; Stephan Dion an arrogant, English-mangling, academic and Michael Ignatieff a Harvard-educated, charisma-challenged, stuffed shirt.
This is probably causing many Liberals to pine for the glory days of their greatest, most charismatic leader --- Pierre Trudeau.
They are likely saying to themselves, "If only we could get another Trudeau to lead us, we could smite our enemies and return to our rightful positions of power and prestige." -- Only they would say it in French and English.
To help the Liberals find such a leader, I have come up with the traits a politician would have to possess to be truly considered another Trudeau.
Here they are in no particular order:
* Must be apologist for freedom-crushing totalitarian regimes.
* Must hate all things military -- especially the Canadian military.
* Must admire bloodthirsty tyrants, ie Fidel Castro, Mao Tse Tung and Joseph Stalin.
* Must hold Western Canadians in contempt.
* Must believe government should control the economy, as this will make it easier to destroy Alberta.
* Must have obsessive desire to brush away any of Canada's historical traditions.
* Must believe in creating massive deficits and increasing any sort of taxes.
* Must hate America.
So there you have it. If any of you Liberals out there see a guy or gal with such a belief system, then voila you have your next Trudeau.
Mind you, it might be hard to find a guy like this nowadays.
Might I suggest you start the search in North Korea.