Monday, November 15, 2010

Helping the Liberals pick the next Trudeau

These are troubling times for the Liberal Party of Canada.

I mean, here's a party that once ruled the Canadian roost, winning federal election after federal election without even raising a sweat.

They were to Canadian politics what the New York Yankees are to baseball; what Lady Ga Ga is to pop music and what Betty White is to 90 year olds.

How good were the Liberals? 

Well they were so good they could win elections even when they hired advisors like Warren Kinsella.

But those halcyon days are over. Today the once mighty Liberal Party is a 98 pound weakling, who keeps getting tar sands kicked in its face.

What's the problem?

Well in my opinion, it's leadership.

Simply put, the Liberals haven't had a decent leader since Jean Chretien retired from the sponsorship advertising business.

The Liberals, of course, understand this too. They realize that Paul Martin was an over-hyped, indecisive, chicken-heart; Stephan Dion an arrogant, English-mangling, academic and Michael Ignatieff a Harvard-educated, charisma-challenged, stuffed shirt.

This is probably causing many Liberals to pine for the glory days of their greatest, most charismatic leader --- Pierre Trudeau.

They are likely saying to themselves, "If only we could get another Trudeau to lead us, we could smite our enemies and return to our rightful positions of power and prestige." -- Only they would say it in French and English.

To help the Liberals find such a leader, I have come up with the traits a politician would have to possess to be truly considered another Trudeau.

Here they are in no particular order:

* Must be apologist for freedom-crushing totalitarian regimes.

* Must hate all things military -- especially the Canadian military.

* Must admire bloodthirsty tyrants, ie Fidel Castro, Mao Tse Tung and Joseph Stalin.

* Must hold Western Canadians in contempt.

* Must believe government should control the economy, as this will make it easier to destroy Alberta.

* Must have obsessive desire to brush away any of Canada's historical traditions.

* Must believe in creating massive deficits and increasing any sort of taxes.

* Must hate America.

So there you  have it. If any of you Liberals out there see a guy or gal with such a belief system, then voila you have your next Trudeau.

Mind you, it might be hard to find a guy like this nowadays.

Might I suggest you start the search in North Korea.


FoxtrotBravo said...

You missed some obvious biggies: must be from Quebec, must be a lawyer-professor-writer-activist, must come from a wealthy family but know little about money or the economy, must have an over-inflated ego, must be divorced, must have convenient hooks where marionette strings can be conveniently tied, must have little to no leadership skills, must have no vision, must be an accomplished liar, absolutely must be a snob.

Anonymous said...

Thing is, Trudeau wouldn't win today. Canada is a different place, thank God!

Kit said...

They still miss the point. Instead of trying to give Canadians someone to vote for, they should give us something to vote for. Try formulating some acceptable policy for once.

Sean M said...

Must be an actor, must have a deeply ingrained hatred of Canada and all things English. Must desire a French speaking State, complete with language gestapo, and an over-bloated bureaucracy that will socially engineer the country into oblivion. Must implement policies that are verboten to speak of, and off limits for debate eg. bilingualism, multicult. Must have complete and utter contempt for anyone who does not agree with your ideology.

Anonymous said...

I can add a few more: must be a Rhodes (globalist) scholar, Oxford Graduate, club of Romer, CFR groupie, UN lover, paternalistic feminist, illogical genius, flighty bon vivant, federalist Quebecer, and bohemian elitist. There is so much more to round out the paradoxical reality of being a big L' Liberal. (real conservative)

Anonymous said...

Sounds like Obama. Maybe he can saw he was actually born in Canada.

Ted Betts said...

Chretien was a far more successful PM than Trudeau and was none of those things and more often the opposite. I don't know many Liberals who pine for Trudeau more than Chretien.

But the question I have is, if the Liberal Party is a 98 pound weakling, who keeps getting tar sands kicked in its face, and in such a leadership vaccuum, what does that say about the guy who can't knock them out even with the full power of government and the taxpayers money (which he has no hesitation using for pork and advertising)?

gimbol said...

"Well they were so good they could win elections even when they hired advisors like Warren Kinsella."


Gerry Nicholls said...

Ted: Good question ... and the topic of a future blog.

Anonymous said...

You must remember, back in the day of Trudeau we did not have the internet and blog sites, we depended on the CBC and the newspapers for our information, knowing then what we know now, I don't think Trudeau would have had and easy ride into 24 Sussex

Anonymous said...

Ted, why is much of the entire media gunning for your Liberal friends non-stop?? Who is really running Canada anyways? (real conservative)

Anonymous said...

Trudeau was the most evil PM in Canadian history.