Thursday, May 05, 2011

Hidden Agenda Exposed

Now that Prime Minister Harper has his majority he is free to implement the much hyped "Hidden Agenda."

But, of course, since it's hidden no one really knows what's in it.

Well almost no one.

As a member of the "Official Right Wing Conspiracy," I have special access to this highly classified document.

And don't ask me to tell you what's in it, because I've been sworn to secrecy.

Well, maybe I can give you just a small sampling of its contents.

Check it out:

* Appoint David Suzuki special life time ambassador to Iceland.

* No more government grants to any "art"  project a casual observer might mistake for a pile of garbage.(This would effectively eliminate 95 percent of all art grants.)

*  Sell the CBC to Sun News Network or at the very least allow Ezra Levant to chainsaw CBC logo.

*  Force the Human Rights Commission to investigate itself.

*  Impose special tax on anyone who publicly praises socialist health care system, but who also uses private clinic -- it will be called "The Jack Layton Levy."

* Next time Quebec threatens to separate, official Canadian government response will be: "Here's your chapeau, what's your  hurry."

* Stop government persecution of minorities -- most notably gun owners, smokers and entrepreneurs.

* Install updated calendars in Elections Canada office so they understand this is the 21st century with fancy new communications tools such as"The Internet".

* Just to annoy Heather Mallick, will replace income tax with flat tax.

 * Move Canadian capital to Calgary.

Exciting stuff, eh?

And there's lots more.

But I've said too much already, as this agenda is supposed to remain hidden.

So please keep this our little secret.


Anonymous said...

What about;

- Call for by-election in Etobicoke-Lakeshore immediately just to see Ignatieff lose again.

-Fighter jets fast tracked to start campaign to carpet bomb Montana.

- National Toronto Star subscription registry (to cost $2Billion annualy)

-Census form to be replaced by National Review questionaire.

-Portrait of Chretien to be taken down and replaced by one of Sarah Palin.

-New minister of defence? Floor crosser Ruth Ellen Brosseau aka "Vegas".

-Speaker of the house-- Bev Oda.

- No more poutine or tofu at the parliament cafeteria. Just beef, Alberta beef; Raw, rare or medium rare (for wimps).

Anonymous said...

Any appointees to the Supreme Court will have to speak Ukranian.

All female cabinet ministers will have to wear bare sleeves.

Every household in the country will have to adopt at least one cat from the SPCA.

The CBC and Radio Canada will be merged and subtitles will be used.

There will be a holiday in February and it will be called Real Family Day.

oxygentax said...

I don't think that Sun News is necessarily interested in the CBC with all its baggage and bull, but I'm sure Sun News WOULD be interested in Bold with its Category 1 must carry license.

Just a little way that all the people can once again watch lefty heads exploding.

Anonymous said...

Prime Minister Harper was looking for his "Hidden Agenda" in his sock drawer.lololol

Kadam said...

what is this bold you speak of?