Thursday, December 29, 2005

PC Guide for Bloggers

The recent outrage generated by a couple of Liberal blogs, see here and here, have rattled me a bit.

I mean, if even Liberals can’t live up to the ideals of Political Correctness what chance do the rest of us unenlightened non-Liberals have?

With that in mind, I have come up with a guide for bloggers to keep them out of trouble in these dangerous times.

Here it is:

1. Never use humour on your blog. Especially stay away from any kind of satire, as this could be construed as offensive to the PC police who have had their funny bones surgically removed.

2. Never make any comments about any person of a different gender, ethnic group, sexual orientation, religious background. Although please note that insulting Christians, WASPs, or conservatives is not only acceptable but actually encouraged.

3. Never call a woman “sexy” on your site as this could be interpreted as either misogynist or sexist. However, it is certainly permissible for female bloggers to call me “sexy” as this will only be interpreted as “charitable”.

4. Never use the defence of “free speech” to defend anything you post on your blog as this strategy is only useful when referring to Supreme Court sanctioned pornography.

5. Or to be really safe shut down your blog and spend your time watching the CBC to help with the necessary PC indoctrination process.

And to anybody out there who wants to report this blog to the authorities, rest assured I am in no way being satirical.


v said...

I am shocked and outraged at this viciously heteronormative post. There is no clearly defined celebration of victimhood, nor any affirmation of the empowerment ofzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

Up with people! Horray for everything!

Anonymous said...

Gerry: Using principles of political correctness, how would you categorize the following Liberal election promise?

The Liberal government has just anounced a 14 million dollar grant to the Granite Club of Toronto. Its purpose is to facilitate the establishment of a program guaranteeing full club membership to Toronto area drug dealers.

Despite the grumbling of some of the athletic members, two squash courts at the historic Bayview Avenue site will be converted to hand gun target shooting ranges.

In order to make the new members feel especially welcome, club officials have relaxed the traditional dress code.

A spokesman for the Liberals insists that this funding inititative is powerful evidence of Paul Martin's new policy thrust at "inclusiveness". Providing such troubled youths an opportunity to mingle with "privileged" Canadians is certain to lessen their sense of alienation and focus more on constructive lifestyles.

For those who opt to continue their criminal activities and violent behavior, we can at least take some comfort in the thought that, as a result of honing their target shooting skills, their use of hand guns will be less menacing to innocent bystanders.

Warwick said...

you need to amend #4 to read "supreme court sanctioned GAY pornography.

regular porn is misogynist and sexist and will not be tolerated. Gay porn is the perfectly acceptable expression of homosexual equality.

Get it?

Now vote for the fascist bushitler, chimpy-loving scary guy already!!