Came across this online version of the Ambrose Bierce's Devil's Dictionary. Even though it was written 100 years ago, it's definitions still ring true today.
Here are some examples:
* APOLOGIZE, v. To lay the foundation for a future offense.
* CONGRATULATION, n. The civility of envy.
* CYNIC, n, A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
* CHRISTIAN, n. One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.
* BORE, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
* COMFORT, n. A state of mind produced by contemplation of a neighbor's uneasiness.
* PATIENCE, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.
* PEACE, n. In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
* POLITICS, n. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.
* SELF-ESTEEM, n. An erroneous appraisement.
* ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
* VOTE, n. A freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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