Friday, October 20, 2006

Devil's Dictionary

Came across this online version of the Ambrose Bierce's Devil's Dictionary. Even though it was written 100 years ago, it's definitions still ring true today.

Here are some examples:

* APOLOGIZE, v. To lay the foundation for a future offense.

* CONGRATULATION, n. The civility of envy.

* CYNIC, n, A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.

* CHRISTIAN, n. One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.

* BORE, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

* COMFORT, n. A state of mind produced by contemplation of a neighbor's uneasiness.

* PATIENCE, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.

* PEACE, n. In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.

* POLITICS, n. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.

* SELF-ESTEEM, n. An erroneous appraisement.

* ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.

* VOTE, n. A freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.

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