Given the success of “50 Shades of Grey” I have decided to write my own “erotica” novel in a literary attempt to become a billionaire.
Here’s what I have so far:
Sterling Nash sat by the roaring fire, a chilled glass of champagne in his hand, when she entered the room.
With her long, cascading blonde hair and her ruby red lips,
looked like a goddess. Sterling
“Welcome,” he said in his most sexy-sounding voice.
“Hi,” she responded. “By the way the fireplace isn’t lit and that’s a glass of Pepsi you’re holding.”
“Well, champagne isn’t exactly cheap,”
noted “And the logs were too damp to
catch fire. But never mind that, let’s get more comfortable.” Sterling
He started to slowly unbutton his shirt.
“Stop that!” she demanded.
“But this is an erotica novel,” he pointed out with flustered exasperation. “Wait till you see what happens in Chapter Two.”
“Yeah, well there won’t be a Chapter Two you pervert. In fact, this book is over right now.”
Then in a blatant effort to pad the novel’s word count, he just sat there puzzled for several minutes.
took a sip from his Pepsi and muttered, “I wonder why suburban housewives think
this stuff is so hot?” Sterling
If you want to write warm, compassionate, sexy stories that capture pure romance, check out a intern job at the Toronto Stars Harloquin Romance profit centre.Try to be creative like their best journalists and start with'it was a dark and stormy night when Rob Ford dropped his pantaloons etc'
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