Friday, September 24, 2010

The Toronto Star nightmare

I am pretty sure the Toronto Star editorial on October 26, 2010, the day after the Toronto Mayoral election, will look a little something like this:
Democracy Doesn’t Work

Something is terribly wrong.

You know what we mean. A man like Rob Ford simply doesn’t get elected Mayor in a progressive, sophisticated city like Toronto.

It just doesn’t happen, damn it!

How can a man who probably doesn’t even preset his car radio to CBC, possibly govern a city like Toronto?

But let’s not panic.

Instead, let’s calmly and rationally examine the facts.

Here is fact one: Help!!!!! This is terrible.

OK, we just needed to get that out of our system.

Back to the facts.

What's strange is, it wasn’t just the Toronto-Sun reading, SUV driving, Tim Horton’s-coffee-drinking rubes who inhabit the semi-barbaric suburbs who voted for Ford.

Apparently even smart people who live in downtown core voted for this man too.
How could this be?

Well, unfortunately, there can only be one explanation: The election was rigged, most likely by the NRA and Fox News.

It must be all part of a sinister plot to Americanize Canadian cities.

That’s why yesterday’s election results must be overturned.

We need a new election, as soon as possible, an election where --- with our careful direction ---- voters can be guided into making the correct choice.

In the meantime, we say hand control of the city directly over to an “Enlightened Council” made up of wise statesmen who truly understand what makes our city tick. We need sage Torontonians running the show, leaders who realize that what the city needs are just a few more taxes and a few minor eco-friendly regulations, such as banning cars from all streets and roads.

Of course, the perfect people to run such a Council would be us, the Toronto Star Editorial Board.

We are confident Premier McGuinty will see the wisdom of our proposal.

And if he doesn’t, if Rob Ford is allowed to stay on as our Mayor ….well let’s hope OHIP covers the cost of cyanide tablets.


David said...

let’s hope OHIP covers the cost of cyanide tablets

Yes, lets hope so.

Anonymous said...

they only have themselves to blame, if such a senario unfolds - they have screwed the electorate, lied and smarmed the facts to cover up their crimes - overtaxed and under delivered the services and driven up the debt to unsustainable heights, all in the name of "caring" - one hopes the aftermath is ugly

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah we all know that around here. (real conservative)

Unknown said...

With all due respect, did you not just write a similar article in the National Post on Sept. 21 after your return from consulting the failed Republican Senatorial candidate Bill Binnie in New Hampshire?
You railed against the social conservatives and pro-life radicals for voting in Ayotte.
A lot of Canadians and Americans are smarter than spinmeisters of all stripes give them credit for. BTW: I support Rob Ford as well

Jeff said...

I don't like any of them - I'm a tin-ear Tory fan- but you gotta love the hand-wringing over Ford by the chattering classes!

Anonymous said...

You are right Jeff. I live in the GTA outside of Toronto. I am a fiscal Conservative. Finally the people have the message but it took a maverick to do it. If only the federal Conservatives would get the spending message they might get my 100% support.

Right now I am only lukewarm.

Anonymous said...

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't Ford, as mayor need the approval of the McGuinty gov't to cut the number of city council seats in half, from 44 to 22, as well as an amendment to either the City of Toronto Act or through a separate piece of legislation?

Of course, seething at a Ford victory, McGuinty would likely not agree to his request. The irony being that The Star would likely say, “we told you so” and falsely accuse Ford of being a guy who can’t get along with others, in spite of the fact that in such a scenario, McGuinty would be the one being petty and vindictive.

That’s fine by me. Let McGuinty tell Torontonians in the next election how much he cares about how overtaxed we are and explain exactly how, when the previous mayor made a request for new taxing powers, he granted it, but when the new mayor makes a request that would actually save taxpayers’ money, he’s against it.

Outraged at the premier, Ford’s move to restore accountability and responsible spending to gov’t could spread into the 905 where hard-working families in those areas see that McGuinty, in fact, doesn’t care about them and how overtaxed they are. Again, suits me just fine going into next year’s provincial election.

Anonymous said...

I love watching this unfold from afar :-). Finally, the keft wing greenies stuck with it!!!

R.A. said...

When I stopped watching because I had to get back to work, Ford had been declared the winner and had something like 47.4% of the vote. His two opponents combined shared 47% of the vote. Those numbers may change by the final count, but probably not by much. My point? Hardly a landslide for Ford. Sometimes in a race of equals the tallest midget wins.