But this posting is not about the discovery of maple
syrup.
Instead, I want to discuss another equally important
historical event which took place two hundred years ago, a little something we
like to call, The War of 1812.
Now some might say this conflict is the Marc Garneau of
wars, in that it’s celebrated, but dull.
Certainly it lacks the panache of other famous conflicts
such as World War I, World War II or The Clone
Wars.
That’s not to say, of course, the War of 1812 doesn’t
get any attention. In fact, a respected group of military scholars recently
voted it “The War with the most Boring Name Ever.”
But clearly it needs some better PR.
Thankfully the Conservative government is on the case.
It’s spending millions of tax dollars on War of 1812 TV commercials, War of
1812 stamps, War of 1812 coins, and War of 1812 lunch boxes, posters and
T-shirts.
Word has it, if this campaign is a hit, the government
will soon produce a sequel commemoration called “The Revenge of The War of
1812.”
Meanwhile, as a result of all this spending and
commemorating, Canadians, who once knew next to nothing about the War of 1812,
now realize it was a conflict where, for some reason, guys in red coats shot at
guys in blue coats.
Yet, despite all this government-sponsored propaganda …
oops … I mean public-spirited education, more needs to be done to inform
Canadians about this key clash in our nation’s
history.
With that in mind, I have decided to fill in some of the
“historical gaps”, mainly with information I just made
up.
The first thing you need to know is that technically
speaking the War of 1812 actually started in 1813; it got its name due to a
careless typo, which is historically significant when you consider the
typewriter wasn’t even invented yet. (Nobody has the heart to point out this
error to the Conservative government.)
Also interesting is the War of 1812 is known by
different names in different countries. For instance, in Britain
it’s generally known as “The War of What?”
Anyway, at one point during the War of 1812, invading
American soldiers burned down our Parliamentary buildings. This action shocked
and angered Canadians who decried it as an “outrage”; the Americans, on the
other hand, called it a “parliamentary prorogation,” thus setting an important
precedent in Canadian politics.
By the way, rumours are flying that US President Barack
Obama may soon come to Canada and apologize for this act of
arson. He will reportedly blame it on the Bush
Administration.
Of course, later in the war we got back at the Americans
when British troops burned down the White House. This is considered to be the
worst thing to ever happen in America ’s capital, other than the
Washington Nationals shutting down the season of pitching ace Steven
Strasburg.
So you see the War of 1812 is actually an extremely
important part of Canada ’s legacy, even more important
in some ways than Justin Trudeau’s hair.
After all, because we managed to fend off an American
invasion, Canada was able to
maintain its cherished status as a backwater colony of the British Empire .
Ultimately, this paved the way for Canada
to become a fully sovereign nation, a sovereignty we celebrate today by removing
the Canadian flag from the Quebec National
Assembly.
And it’s all thanks to the War of 1812. (Really the War
of 1813.)