Friday, May 06, 2011

Signs of Liberal demise

Lots of debate as to whether or not the Liberal Party is dead or just in an irreversible coma.

To help clear things up here are some signs to look for to ascertain if the Liberal Party is most sincerely dead: 
  
  • Al Qaeda doesn’t demand to see photo of Liberal Party corpse.

  • Bob Rae gives up party membership and joins the Tea Party

  • Several Quebec advertising companies declare bankruptcy

  • Justin Trudeau legally changes last name to “Diefenbaker.”

  • Beer and popcorn sales plummet

  • Incidences of wounds involving knife stabs to the back dramatically fall

  • Liberal Party headquarters is turned into “Chretien Golf Ball” museum

  • CBC scraps plan to produce 12 hour “bio-documentary” celebrating life and times of Stephane Dion’s dog.

  • Liberal Party acclaims Pierre Trudeau’s Panama hat as its next leader.

  • Ken Dryden gives up politics decides to join organization with more recent success than Liberals ---The Ottawa Senators

5 comments:

Springer said...

Gawd, that was riotously funny!!!

You must be a fan of Dave Barry!

Gerry Nicholls said...

Three great influences on my life: Barry Goldwater, William F. Buckley and Dave Barry!

Anonymous said...

More?

-Castro invited to eulogize the party.

- Lib HQ relocated to Calgary in hopes that no one will ever find it again.

- Dion buys a Hummer.

- Volpe now calls the 416 "Tory turf"

- Safe injection sites giving out bags of cash for those who are addicted to the good old days.

- The Laurier Club renamed The Ignatieff Club and membership reduced to $5 from $1000(or is it $1100?) and includes glow in the dark stickers for the kids.

- Toronto Star officially endorses NDP. *Wait. That actually did happen...

Anonymous said...

is any party ever truly dead in canada? the ccf became the ndp. the conservatives became the reforme before they became conservatives again. the people who run for the parties change alligence as often as they change their shorts. no, the liberals will be back, sad to say. i'm guessing they will be the new conservatives.

Anonymous said...

HEY!

Y'all are jest brilliant. Can't begin to describe injuries sustained when I came upon the 10 + signs. . .
while eating Chines, with chopstick.

Ooo o o h. . . the pain. Almost as bad as being a librano today. I'm certain that the dude who delivered above-mentioned dinner and chopsticks but an AttackCurse on my evening.

tj


t.e. & o.e.