Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Politics is no place for honesty

Poor Gordon Landon.

He, of course, was the Conservative Party candidate for Markham-Unionville who got dumped because he seemed to openly suggest his riding was missing out on the pork gravy train simply because the voters there had mistakenly voted in a Liberal MP.

Now I suppose Landon deserved to get turfed for making such a major politically incorrect “gaffe”, but let’s face it, his comments as they were perceived reflect a political reality.

The fact is if you want to get dough it helps if your MP is on the government side of the aisle, it helps even more if your MP is in cabinet, it helps even more if your MP is in cabinet and represents a riding in Quebec.

That’s what big government politics is all about.

So shouldn't we actually be praising Landon for his candour? Indeed, maybe we should insist on total, brutal honesty from all our politicians.

But what would such unabashed political sincerity actually sound like?

Well it might just sound something like this:

An honest New Democrat MP
“Look I know we haven’t got a hope of ever forming the government. And that's actually a good thing because, heck the idea of Jack Layton being Prime Minster scares even me! But still Canada needs a strong NDP to do the important job of making the Liberals look good by comparison.”

An honest Liberal MP
“Sure we have no policies, no ideas and no vision. And yes our leader, Michael Ignatieff, has all the pizazz of a pickled kumquat. So what? The important thing is we have been out of government since 2006. And it’s driving us crazy. You don’t know what it’s like. It’s awful. If we don’t get back into power soon, we might lose it altogether and try something desperate. Think we’re kidding? Ever hear of Bob Rae? Yeah, that’s right we are warning you….”

An honest Conservative MP
“Some people say we have a hidden agenda. That’s absolutely preposterous. Our agenda isn’t hidden … it’s lost. I mean it. We can’t find it anywhere. We have looked under the bed, behind the filing cabinet, even in Julie Couillard’s apartment. This is serious. If you see our agenda, please let us know. It’s kind of important.”

An honest Bloc Quebecois MP
“Bonjour. Comment-allez vous? Ca va bien merci. Ooh la, la, la chocolat tante Louise. Au revoir mon ami.” (Sorry I figure an honest Bloc MP wouldn’t speak English, and this is all the French I know.)

An honest Green Party Wannabe MP
“This is not a traditional, quote, unquote party. This is a party that basically serves as a travelling road show for our leader Elizabeth May, who figures the best way to save the environment is to run and lose in a different federal riding each election.”

OK, so maybe it isn’t such a good thing if our politicians are brutally honest.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

One question. When Landon said that no stimulus money was being spent in his riding, was that factual?

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, it wasn't true.

Anonymous said...

But don't let Gerry know. It might lower his 5 best minds in Canadian politics rating if the truth came out.

Alberta Girl said...

So Gerry....are you perpetuating the falsehood that Landon put out there?

But don't worry, he can accompany you on your 'look how mean, nasty Stephen Harper treats people and we are ready to tell all and be the darlings of the media' tour.

Calgary Junkie said...

Re #1, John Baird stated yesterday on one of the talk shows that Markham-Unionville has 12 projects approved.

But that aside, this ex-candidate Landon obviously doesn't understand how Party politics works--there has to be a united front, delivering the same team message, especially when in government.

Any disagreements are hashed out within caucus, after which a united team comes out with a single message. This guy isn't in caucus yet, but he should know better than to go off-message like this. If he wants to speak his mind, then become a political analyst, or blogger.

Paul M said...

That was actually funny Gerry.

Susan said...

Really entertaining column today Gerry.
I read that the Liberal held riding of Markham-Unionville had 14 funding requests from the gov´t and receive funding for ......14 projects. Not one of them was for the medical devices project that the would´be politician had complained about. Yeah and I wanted a bit of funding to open up a candy floss kiosk.

Bec said...

I'm pretty sure that if an 'unproven employee' were to diss the company, call them cheap, question their mission statement and pretty much send future clients away, they'd be terminated.

This guy had no business airing his unsubstantiated accusations in public. That doesn't show character, it shows a childish level of self control.
I'd never hire him, never.

Tony said...

Gerry:

Good to see your comments bring out all the loyal haperites. Not loyal conservatives, but loyal harperites. We must never question the leader. Our glorious leader can never be wrong. We must never speak, nor think, without the approval of our glorious leader.

Anonymous said...

I like the idea of brute force honesty but not likely to see it this century. Heck if we had real truth then the numerous leftist political parties in Canada would tell us about their dream of global socialism in Canada taking orders from the UN. Now that is honesty we all need to hear. (real conservative)

jad said...

" the Conservative Party candidate for Markham-Unionville who got dumped because he seemed to openly suggest his riding was missing out on the pork gravy train simply because the voters there had mistakenly voted in a Liberal MP."

Everyone seems to think this is why he got dumped. It couldn't possibly be anything to do with the fact that he seems to have no idea what is happening in the riding he plans on representing, could it ?

But very funny comments from the "honest" MPs.