Singing the UN Blues?

The United Nations recently gave our country a collective glove wash.

By now we all know the sad story: Canada wanted a seat on the “Security Council” but the UN passed us over, bestowing seats instead to Portugal and Germany.

Portugal and Germany?!

This clearly proves beyond any doubt that a country’s standing in the UN must be directly related to its soccer prowess.

I suppose that means if hockey were a more popular international sport, we’d be running the world.

At any rate, our humiliating UN loss stunned Canada’s political leaders, who reacted to the bad news the way our political leaders always react to bad news – they instantly blamed each other.

Liberal leader Michael Ignatieff declared Canada lost out because international diplomats were punishing us for our “blatant anti-census agenda.”

“The horrifying image of those blank census forms is burned into the minds of all right-thinking Europeans” fumed Ignatieff. “To make things right, my MPs and I are willing to fill out all the forms ourselves and mail them to capitals of Europe.”

For his part, the Prime Minister took the high road: “I blame everyone but me for this diplomatic mess,” stated the Prime Minister. “But I especially blame Michael Ignatieff for reasons my speech writers will dream up later.”

Of course, regardless of who is to blame, our failure to win a seat at the Security Council table is the biggest blow to our national prestige since the McKenzie Brothers movie, Strange Brew, bombed at the box office.

In fact, when asked how this Security Council debacle will impact Canada’s international reputation, a leading American scholar, who specializes in the UN, replied, “What’s Canada?”

Even more importantly, our failure to gain a Security Council seat means Canada will not be voicing its opinions at the table when the United Nations performs its vital global functions.

What vital global functions?

Well, take the key role the UN plays in maintaining world peace.

Before the UN was invented, countries would invade each other at the drop of a hat.

Now countries have a chance to defend and debate their policies in the civilized and structured environment of the UN – then they invade each other at the drop of a hat.

And let’s not forget how UN helps to redistribute global wealth.

Every day the UN sucks millions of tax dollars out of countries like Canada and carefully funnels them into the pockets of corrupt UN bureaucrats.

And finally, the UN also gives “international statesman” a chance to shine in the global spotlight.

For instance, Iran’s Mahmoud Ahmadinejad often takes time off time from stoning people to death, so he can politely and reasonably explain to the UN why Israel must be wiped from the map.

In fact, many give Ahmadinejad credit for the UN General Assembly recently voting to name October 25 as “International Wipe Israel from the Map Day.”

Yes isn’t it a shame Canada isn’t playing a more important role in such a fine and useful organization as the UN?

Oh well, at least we can lick Portugal and Germany in hockey.

"The NCC has let down the Canadian conservative movement"

Writer/author Paul Tuns recently recounted the sad state of affairs at my old group the National Citizens Coalition.

Writes Tuns:

Where is the NCC -- and what is it doing Gerry Nicholls gets asked this question a lot: Does the National Citizens Coalition even still exist?

There is a reason for this question. Quick, name any campaign the NCC is undertaking right now.

When were they last quoted in a news article?

The NCC's last dated press release was March 25 and their last press release lamely called for the Ontario Liberals to "openly discuss their plans on healthcare reform.

"The president's blog is updated semi-regularly -- although Peter Coleman didn't say anything about the gun registry until after the vote -- but is overly partisan .... But a president's blog isn't activism -- even in 2010. The NCC has let down the Canadian conservative movement.

Sad question

Here's a sad question I get quite a lot these days: Does the National Citizens Coalition even still exist?

Media Alert

I am scheduled to appear on the Michael Harris Show (CFRA Ottawa) today at 1:35 PM to talk about the recent letter I sent to the Toronto Star on cultural coercion.


BTW -- Professor Don Boudreaux of Cafe Hayek, linked to that letter.

As he put it, "In this powerful letter-to-the-editor, my Canadian friend Gerry Nicholls takes a stand against collectivism and for individualism."

Ceasing Cultural Coercion

The Toronto Star recently ran an editorial with the usual statist arguments for cultural coercion.

I responded with the following letter to the editor, which appears in today's paper:

Canadians can make own choices

Re: Fight to survive in a digital age, Editorial, Oct. 1

Why is the Star opposed to consumer freedom? You write that in this digital age, “consumers can use the Internet and on-demand video to watch whatever they want, whenever they want.”

Yet instead of cheering this choice-expanding trend, you see it as a grave threat to our sovereignty and accordingly call upon the state to limit our freedoms.

You want more government regulations to force “Canadian content” on the air and want to coerce citizens through their tax dollars to subsidize what you consider politically correct cultural choices.

This attack on individual freedom is necessary, you argue, to protect “Canadian identity.”

Yet surely, Canadians should have the right to determine their own identity through their own cultural choices.

Debating the important stuff

I am so glad our MPs know a true priority when they see it.

Unlike legislators in other countries, who waste their time on unimportant issues like foreign policy, fiscal strategy and international trade, our MPs zero in on what really matters: magazine articles.

In fact, last night our MPs took the courageous stand of unanimously condemning a Maclean’s article because it criticized corruption in Quebec.

With that crucial bit of law-making out of the way, the hard-working MPs in the House of Commons can now deal with other equally vital issues.

Here’s a quick glance at some of the items currently on the legislative agenda:

* Debating the cultural impact of Lady Ga Ga’s wardrobe. (And is “Ga Ga” French or English?)

* Banning movies with convoluted plots – the so-called Inception Bill.

* Which is game is better – Halo: Reach or Kill Zone 3?

* Regulating newspapers to force them to stop carrying comic strips like Blondie which stopped being funny shortly after VE Day.

* What’s the real story concerning Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore?

* Will the absence of Simon Cowell hurt the ratings for American Idol?

* A resolution condemning the Designated Hitter rule.

So as you can see, we have a busy legislative season ahead of us.

Of course, with all this work, MPs can legitimately claim it’s time for another pay raise.

And they will.

Details and politics don't mix

The Toronto Sun editorially scolds Toronto Mayoralty candidates Rob Ford and George Smitherman for not having detailed budgetary plans for the city.

Writes the Sun: “Either Rob Ford or George Smitherman, it appears, will be our next mayor and neither has a fiscal plan worth warm spit.”

And I guess, if an election was akin to some sort of academic exercise the Sun would be right.

However, elections are about politics. And in politics the last thing you want to do is talk about details.

The more details you divulge the more likely you are to drive away potential voters.

That’s why the secret to success in politics is vagueness: all voters need to hear is that you have some sort of “Plan” to fix the budget.

Besides, it isn’t budget projections that win elections – it’s who has the most compelling narrative or story – Ford or Smitherman?

Media Alert

Will be on Newsline with Joe Easingwood (CFAX radio Victoria) at noon EST.

Topic: US politics

The Toronto Star nightmare

I am pretty sure the Toronto Star editorial on October 26, 2010, the day after the Toronto Mayoral election, will look a little something like this:
*******
Democracy Doesn’t Work

Something is terribly wrong.

You know what we mean. A man like Rob Ford simply doesn’t get elected Mayor in a progressive, sophisticated city like Toronto.

It just doesn’t happen, damn it!

How can a man who probably doesn’t even preset his car radio to CBC, possibly govern a city like Toronto?

But let’s not panic.

Instead, let’s calmly and rationally examine the facts.

Here is fact one: Help!!!!! This is terrible.

OK, we just needed to get that out of our system.

Back to the facts.

What's strange is, it wasn’t just the Toronto-Sun reading, SUV driving, Tim Horton’s-coffee-drinking rubes who inhabit the semi-barbaric suburbs who voted for Ford.

Apparently even smart people who live in downtown core voted for this man too.
How could this be?

Well, unfortunately, there can only be one explanation: The election was rigged, most likely by the NRA and Fox News.

It must be all part of a sinister plot to Americanize Canadian cities.

That’s why yesterday’s election results must be overturned.

We need a new election, as soon as possible, an election where --- with our careful direction ---- voters can be guided into making the correct choice.

In the meantime, we say hand control of the city directly over to an “Enlightened Council” made up of wise statesmen who truly understand what makes our city tick. We need sage Torontonians running the show, leaders who realize that what the city needs are just a few more taxes and a few minor eco-friendly regulations, such as banning cars from all streets and roads.

Of course, the perfect people to run such a Council would be us, the Toronto Star Editorial Board.

We are confident Premier McGuinty will see the wisdom of our proposal.

And if he doesn’t, if Rob Ford is allowed to stay on as our Mayor ….well let’s hope OHIP covers the cost of cyanide tablets.

Media Alert

Will be doing an interview on the Tommy Schnurmacher Show (CJAD Montreal) to talk American politics at 10:00 AM EST.

Eyewitness to radicalization

I have a column in today's National Post explaining what I think is wrong with the American Republican Party.

Media Alert

I will be on the CHCH TV news program tonight.

Topic: The Tea Party Movement.

I'm Back

I just returned from a tour of political duty in the United States of America.

Interestingly, the campaign I was involved in was widely considered to be one of the most vicious and negative of the entire primary season!

In other words, it was right up my alley.

Anyway, the end result was our team came up short.

But none the less, it was a great experience; I worked with a lot of fantastic people and got a keen insight as to what makes the Republican Party tick.

Still, I am glad to be back home in Canada.

Same old song and dance

Check out my latest Sun Media column.

It contains fearless political predictions!

The real bully in Ottawa

Check out my latest column for Sun Media, which I guess is now called QMI Agency.

I suggest the left-wingers in Canada are worried about the wrong bully.

My ingenious idea

Instead of turning Toronto into a massive prison for the sake of visiting world leaders, why don't the world leaders simply agree to meet in an actual prison.

Changing Turkey

Rondi Adamson has an interesting but sad article in today's National Post, grieving for the Turkey she once knew.

Adamson, by the way, is an excellent writer with well informed opinions and a wonderful sense of humour.

I would highly recommend her blog.

Check it out.

PS if you ever want an editor, give her a call.

Liberty Summer Seminar is 10 years old

One of the things I regret about living outside of Canada, is it means missing this year's Liberty Summer Seminar.

Held every year in a beautiful, secluded estate, the Seminar is a must attend event for libertarians, conservatives or for anyone interested in the philosophy of freedom.

And this year is going to be special because the Seminar is celebrating its 10th anniversary.

From the looks of this year's agenda it's going to be a fun and informative event.

So my advice is register today .... and tell'em Gerry sent you!

Another Disaster

Did you hear about the latest ecological disaster?

Taxpayer dollars are spewing into Lake Harper!

A campaign on the move