Tuesday, December 29, 2015

How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Trudeau Hype

I’m formally announcing in this blog that I will no longer resist Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s unstoppable media charm machine.

From now on, I will just relax, stop thinking and allow myself to become totally and mindlessly engulfed in all the rainbows and lollipops razzmatazz.

Believe me, this wasn’t an easy decision to make, since over the years I’ve come to expect our national leaders to act like, you know … adults.

This is why I initially found Prime Minister Trudeau’s various narcissistic, cutesy-wutesy, man-child antics somewhat off-putting.

Indeed, I felt my gag reflex trigger every time a sappy Trudeau photo op graced my newspaper; my cringe muscles were sprained whenever he uttered one of his childish catchphrases – “Canada’s back,” “Because it’s 2015,” “Sunny Ways” – and when he posed for a steamy photo shoot in Vogue magazine, I wanted to jump off the highest bridge.

Plus let’s not forget the selfies. Oh my God, the selfies! Will they ever end?! How much shallow cuteness can a guy take!

Sorry. Must calm down.

Anyway, eventually I came to realize that maybe it was just cantankerous, cynical old me who deplored Trudeau’s steakless sizzle.

Perhaps Trudeau’s vapid and inane media tactics perfectly conform to our celebrity worshiping, social media addicted, reality TV-show watching society.

Certainly, Trudeau is soaring high in the polls.

And generally speaking the media – the guardians of our democracy and the watchdogs of politicians – are more than OK with The Justin Trudeau Show.

 In fact, journalists seem to love it.

Consider some of the media’s recent “hard-hitting” coverage of our prime minister: Maclean’s magazine did an indepth interview with Trudeau’s Vogue photographer; the Canadian Press broke the important story of Trudeau’s take on the new Star Wars movie (he loved it); and the Huffington Post actually ran this maudlin headline: “Justin Trudeau kids: We could look at photos of Hadrien all day”.

Somebody please pass me a barf bag.

It’s like the entire Canadian media industry has turned into Entertainment Tonight.

I mean if a nuclear war was suddenly to erupt, I have zero doubt the CBC’s “At Issue” panel would debate whether or not radiation burns would make Trudeau even more adorable.

And, of course, it would be a ratings blockbuster.

My point is, none of us can escape Trudeau’s publicity playpen.

So given this unalterable reality, my choice was simple: Go insane or go with the flow.

This is why, in the name of my mental health, I’ve decided to embrace the lovable Trudeau in all his insipid glory.

As the saying goes, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

So to all Liberal party spin doctors and to all Trudeau-adoring media pundits, I say, bring it on.

I’m now psychologically ready to meet with a smile any Trudeau media stunt you can throw at me, no matter how cloyingly contrived or embarrassingly juvenile.

If you want to arrange a two hour TV special featuring CBC news anchor Peter Mansbridge and Trudeau belting out hit tunes from the 80s in a Karaoke bar, I’d cheer it to the heavens.

And I’d be deliriously happy if Trudeau did something super cool, such as ordering his Liberal MPs to appear in the House of Commons dressed as their favorite Star Trek character.

I’d even get Goosebumps and swoon if Trudeau announces his democratic reforms will include selecting the next prime minister based simply on whichever candidate gets the most Facebook “likes”.

So yeah, no more negativity on my part.

And if at any point I should ever doubt Trudeau’s superficial, but fun-loving ways, I’ll just recite those awesomely profound and deeply inspirational words:  “Canada’s back” “Because it’s 2015”, “Sunny ways.”

Hooray for pop idol politics!


6 comments:

Gordon Cawsey said...

Maybe he should start a band and start playing old Beatles tunes and tell everyone about his favourite Netflix shows?

Anonymous said...

I am so much in sync with what you are saying. Nothing to add except that I am sad for Canada.

TAF1 said...

Good & funny one Gerry! Sadly also very true, news have become entertainment.

George Dance said...

A band, eh? Well, they'll have to cover this:
"My life is sunshine, lollipops and rainbows,
That's how this refrain goes, so come on, join in everybody!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5Fgp-KihIA

AMan said...

How is this any different from when the media refused to challenge Harper's defiance and avoidance of media.
Harper's repeated utterances during elections of "that's simply not true" consistently went unchallenged by media.

Anonymous said...

Yup, petty much given up myself.