Chretien's first draft

You have probably heard the news about former Liberal Prime Minister Jean Chretien sending out a fundraising letter. But you probably didn't know that the letter talked about in the media is actually a second draft.

Fortunately, I managed to uncover the first draft.

Here it is:

Dear federal Liberal:

Remember me, I used to be your leader. Those were the days when we Liberals actually …you know won elections.

In fact, I won three majorities in a row. Not bad, eh? Not even the great God, Pierre Trudeau ever did that!

But then that Martin guy, the guy who thought he was smarter than everybody else, he took over the party and led it straight into the toilet.

Not that I am bitter or anything.

And then there were those two losers that came after Martin, what were their names again? Stephane … something and …I forget the other guy.

Anyway, I am writing because the Liberal Party is basically broke. It’s getting so bad Bob Rae might have to start busking for change on some Ottawa street corner.

So they came to me to help with the fundraising. Yeah, that’s right, the same guys who stabbed me in back now want my help.

Ironic, aint it?

Oh well, here goes: Please hand over some cash. Why? Well because, the Liberals are …. Um, we plan to … no that won’t work.... our policies are ....hmmm, that's unbelievable. 

Man, this fundraising is hard.

In the old days getting money was really easy. I just sent some flacks to meet my corporate “friends” in a secluded Montreal restaurant, where a mutually beneficial arrangement was agreed upon, if you get my drift.

Nowadays, it’s different. Now we have to ask regular people like you to fork over the dough, without even being able to offer any advertising contracts.

It’s crazy.

So what are you waiting for? Get some cash, stuff it into an envelope and mail it to Liberal Party Headquarters … and do it now!!!

If you don’t send any money, I will go to your house and throttle you! Ha, ha, just kidding. (No I’m not.)

Yours truly,

Jean 

PS

Seriously, you have to admit I am the best Prime Minister Canada ever had, and that includes that dandy Pierre Trudeau! Not that I’m bitter.