Debating the important stuff

I am so glad our MPs know a true priority when they see it.

Unlike legislators in other countries, who waste their time on unimportant issues like foreign policy, fiscal strategy and international trade, our MPs zero in on what really matters: magazine articles.

In fact, last night our MPs took the courageous stand of unanimously condemning a Maclean’s article because it criticized corruption in Quebec.

With that crucial bit of law-making out of the way, the hard-working MPs in the House of Commons can now deal with other equally vital issues.

Here’s a quick glance at some of the items currently on the legislative agenda:

* Debating the cultural impact of Lady Ga Ga’s wardrobe. (And is “Ga Ga” French or English?)

* Banning movies with convoluted plots – the so-called Inception Bill.

* Which is game is better – Halo: Reach or Kill Zone 3?

* Regulating newspapers to force them to stop carrying comic strips like Blondie which stopped being funny shortly after VE Day.

* What’s the real story concerning Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore?

* Will the absence of Simon Cowell hurt the ratings for American Idol?

* A resolution condemning the Designated Hitter rule.

So as you can see, we have a busy legislative season ahead of us.

Of course, with all this work, MPs can legitimately claim it’s time for another pay raise.

And they will.

Details and politics don't mix

The Toronto Sun editorially scolds Toronto Mayoralty candidates Rob Ford and George Smitherman for not having detailed budgetary plans for the city.

Writes the Sun: “Either Rob Ford or George Smitherman, it appears, will be our next mayor and neither has a fiscal plan worth warm spit.”

And I guess, if an election was akin to some sort of academic exercise the Sun would be right.

However, elections are about politics. And in politics the last thing you want to do is talk about details.

The more details you divulge the more likely you are to drive away potential voters.

That’s why the secret to success in politics is vagueness: all voters need to hear is that you have some sort of “Plan” to fix the budget.

Besides, it isn’t budget projections that win elections – it’s who has the most compelling narrative or story – Ford or Smitherman?

Media Alert

Will be on Newsline with Joe Easingwood (CFAX radio Victoria) at noon EST.

Topic: US politics

The Toronto Star nightmare

I am pretty sure the Toronto Star editorial on October 26, 2010, the day after the Toronto Mayoral election, will look a little something like this:
*******
Democracy Doesn’t Work

Something is terribly wrong.

You know what we mean. A man like Rob Ford simply doesn’t get elected Mayor in a progressive, sophisticated city like Toronto.

It just doesn’t happen, damn it!

How can a man who probably doesn’t even preset his car radio to CBC, possibly govern a city like Toronto?

But let’s not panic.

Instead, let’s calmly and rationally examine the facts.

Here is fact one: Help!!!!! This is terrible.

OK, we just needed to get that out of our system.

Back to the facts.

What's strange is, it wasn’t just the Toronto-Sun reading, SUV driving, Tim Horton’s-coffee-drinking rubes who inhabit the semi-barbaric suburbs who voted for Ford.

Apparently even smart people who live in downtown core voted for this man too.
How could this be?

Well, unfortunately, there can only be one explanation: The election was rigged, most likely by the NRA and Fox News.

It must be all part of a sinister plot to Americanize Canadian cities.

That’s why yesterday’s election results must be overturned.

We need a new election, as soon as possible, an election where --- with our careful direction ---- voters can be guided into making the correct choice.

In the meantime, we say hand control of the city directly over to an “Enlightened Council” made up of wise statesmen who truly understand what makes our city tick. We need sage Torontonians running the show, leaders who realize that what the city needs are just a few more taxes and a few minor eco-friendly regulations, such as banning cars from all streets and roads.

Of course, the perfect people to run such a Council would be us, the Toronto Star Editorial Board.

We are confident Premier McGuinty will see the wisdom of our proposal.

And if he doesn’t, if Rob Ford is allowed to stay on as our Mayor ….well let’s hope OHIP covers the cost of cyanide tablets.

Media Alert

Will be doing an interview on the Tommy Schnurmacher Show (CJAD Montreal) to talk American politics at 10:00 AM EST.

Eyewitness to radicalization

I have a column in today's National Post explaining what I think is wrong with the American Republican Party.

Media Alert

I will be on the CHCH TV news program tonight.

Topic: The Tea Party Movement.

I'm Back

I just returned from a tour of political duty in the United States of America.

Interestingly, the campaign I was involved in was widely considered to be one of the most vicious and negative of the entire primary season!

In other words, it was right up my alley.

Anyway, the end result was our team came up short.

But none the less, it was a great experience; I worked with a lot of fantastic people and got a keen insight as to what makes the Republican Party tick.

Still, I am glad to be back home in Canada.