If there's one thing the Canadian conservative movement needs it's more cruises.
So I am considering setting up my own conservative cruise get-away, which will be called The Gerry Nicholls Lake Ontario Odyssey.
Imagine it. A half day luxury cruise on one of Canada's most exotic and exciting Great Lakes (after lakes Huron, Michigan and Superior).
Passengers aboard the SS Gerry will enjoy:
* An exclusive stop at the Oakville's Burger King restaurant.
* Free Diet Coke (while supplies last)
* Starbucks Coffee at a special discounted price of only $20.00 a cup
* Complimentary sea sick pills (these rubber dinghys are a little unstable in rough water)
And if that's not enough to tempt you, consider this list of speakers and topics I just made up:
* John Tory will give a lecture on -- "How to Lose an Election in Three Easy Steps"
* Author/writer Paul Tuns will discuss, "Why I should be the new general manager of the New York Yankees".
* Liberal Leader Stephane Dion will speak on why he isn't a wimp. (Note Dion will only attend the cruise if Prime Minister Stephen Harper says it's OK.)
* Toronto Mayor David Miller will explain why we need a special tax on made up cruises.
* And Rondi Adamson will ask: Can conservatism ever be reconciled with good fashion sense?
Sounds like fun, doesn't it?
So I am considering setting up my own conservative cruise get-away, which will be called The Gerry Nicholls Lake Ontario Odyssey.
Imagine it. A half day luxury cruise on one of Canada's most exotic and exciting Great Lakes (after lakes Huron, Michigan and Superior).
Passengers aboard the SS Gerry will enjoy:
* An exclusive stop at the Oakville's Burger King restaurant.
* Free Diet Coke (while supplies last)
* Starbucks Coffee at a special discounted price of only $20.00 a cup
* Complimentary sea sick pills (these rubber dinghys are a little unstable in rough water)
And if that's not enough to tempt you, consider this list of speakers and topics I just made up:
* John Tory will give a lecture on -- "How to Lose an Election in Three Easy Steps"
* Author/writer Paul Tuns will discuss, "Why I should be the new general manager of the New York Yankees".
* Liberal Leader Stephane Dion will speak on why he isn't a wimp. (Note Dion will only attend the cruise if Prime Minister Stephen Harper says it's OK.)
* Toronto Mayor David Miller will explain why we need a special tax on made up cruises.
* And Rondi Adamson will ask: Can conservatism ever be reconciled with good fashion sense?
Sounds like fun, doesn't it?
So sign up today, for the special three hour cruise.
... You forgot to mention... the cruise will only be going in clock-wise circles...
ReplyDeleteSounds nice.
ReplyDeleteWe can all also witness first hand the changing of the leaves and the crumbling of the manufacturing sector in Ontario.
Will there be a debate on faith based schools too?
I assume that Danny Williams, Bill Casey, Garth Turner, General Hillier, and any other Canadian with a backbone will be frisked by the CPC security guards to ensure that they leave their backbones at home, and don't rabble rouse the base to actually expect grass roots conservatism from the party that promised it.
Where do we sign up?
Tell Tuns not to worry, without A-Rod or Torre, the Yanks will finish near the bottom of the pack next year behind the Sox, Jays and Devil Rays.
ReplyDeleteAnd you thought the Star was losing it.
ReplyDeleteI'm miffed that I wasn't invited to speak.
ReplyDeletePaul wants to be the next GM of the New York Yankees? What a coincidence - so do I!
ReplyDeleteHmm...maybe you should hold a debate on this issue. That could definitely sell some tickets. : )