Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Dion Vs. a Carrot

A couple of postings ago, I came up with a list of ten people who I thought would make a better Liberal leader than Stephane Dion.

What seemed to catch everyone's attention about that list was that included a carrot.

Yes a carrot.

Anyway, I got some emails suggesting (sometimes in forceful language) I was being unfair to Dion.

Dion is clearly superior, said these emails, to a carrot.

But I don't think so.

Let's see what happens, for instance, when Dion goes head to head, er I mean head to root against a carrot when it comes to key leadership issues:

Vision: Stephane Dion wants to move the Liberal Party to the Left. A carrot is good for your eyesight.

Advantage: The Carrot.

Charisma: Stephane Dion is a former academic with a keen interest in constitutional affairs. A carrot is an inert piece of vegetable matter.

Advantage: The Carrot

Environmental Policy: Stephane Dion has a green plan. A carrot is actually organic and has a green stem and feathery green leaves.

Advantage: The Carrot

Speaking Ability: Stephane Dion speaks French and a dialect strongly resembling English. Carrots cannot speak.

Advantage: Slight edge to Dion.

Popularity: Stephane Dion has Liberals second-guessing his leadership, he is stuck in the polls and his party just lost a key by-election in his home province. Carrots are a wildly popular vegetable and a rich source of dietary fibre, antioxidants and minerals.

Advantage: The Carrot.

You can't argue with the evidence. The carrot wins hands down. Well it would if a carrot had hands.

10 comments:

  1. Anonymous11:23 AM

    The only disadvantage the carrot has is that it's orange. And you know what political doctrine that colour represents.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Don't forget that the carrot's leaves actually take CO2 out of the atmosphere, while Dion emits it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous12:43 PM

    Your logic is irrefutable!

    I wonder, if a carrot were to run for the Green Party, would Dion endorse it and pull his own candidate?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous1:28 PM

    it used to be that the Liberals could run a carrot as leader and expect to win an election.

    Maybe those days will make a comeback

    ReplyDelete
  5. ... Forgive me this aside...
    ... A very brave, and encouraging, comment by Mr. Harper at the UN yesterday.
    ... "Government's main role is to design tax and regulatory systems that enable the free market to work".
    ... Which is precisely the right thing to say... very impressive!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous12:34 AM

    This comparison is both ridiculous and an insult to carrots everywhere.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous4:49 PM

    Root, root, root for the home team!

    ReplyDelete
  8. "Government's main role is to design tax and regulatory systems that enable the free market to work".

    Does this even make sense unless he means eliminating taxes and regulatory systems?
    Either way, I guess it's better than what we've been getting.

    ReplyDelete
  9. ... Ahhh well... too quick with the accolades.
    ... Yesterday at the UN, our prime minister stated that... there shouldn't be a choice between "unfettered capitalism on the one hand, and unfettered socialism on the other."
    ... Which, dear friends, is saying absolutely nothing.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous2:47 PM

    iain g. foulds:

    Yes, Mr. Harper does seem to enjoy the "flip flop," and as you have accurately pointed out, can do it on the same issue several times a week.

    I think that he may have pulled that first quote out of a text by von Hayek. I could be wrong.

    ReplyDelete